C & H Consultants

Today, in preparation for starting as a contractor at Swiss Re next month, I registered my new limited company "candh consultants limited".

Now I have to fill in all the forms for Directors, VAT reg, shareholders etc.

The Slapmonster in Action

My band - the Papersnakes - have started to use the music room at my son Myles' school for our rehearsals.

Here's me ramping up to sing my modern-day classic composition "Bare Back Monkey".

Cafe Nero, Watford

Me with Thomas

New Papersnakes website/blog

For information about Papersnakes, please go here.

Wiow - nothing new in about 26 years...

Bath Road swimming pool, Luton.

I can't see anything has changed in this place since I was last here at least 26 years ago - probably more. I spent a lot of my childhood in these changing rooms. From the look of the place, if I'd left a pair of socks there when I was 10 they'd still be sitting there now. This was a strange experience.

I asked the woman behind the (original) ticket office window if they still had the outdoor pools. Apparrently the land on which the outdoor pool was constructed was marsh land and the pool was moulded asbestos standing on concrete pillars driven into the marsh. Seems that the pool sank and the pillars poked through the asbestos. Nice. There was a lot of this sort of thing in the late 70s early 80s of course.

Anyway - the indoor pools have not altered at all. The diving boards are still all there - all of them. It tried to explain why this was so interesting to Myles but he didn't seem to care. He also didn't seem to like the pool.

Papersnakes South Park Characters

MySouth Park

We are "Papersnakes" (again)

After all the recent name changes, some of which lasted only a matter of hours, we have returned to where we started. We are "Papersnakes".

More Set List Casualties

"So who's playing the bass on this one then?"

Out : Wonderwall (Oasis)
Out : One (U2)

I suggested that we cut Wonderwall from our set last night.

There were many reasons for this

• Only I know it - therefore it seems a bit selfish to force everyone else to learn it
• It means we have to swap around on instruments
• I might well sound like a strangled cat on the night - I need to get the old confidence level up for the singing.
• I would have to additionally take my guitar and small amp
• The small amp isn't up to the task with the fully loaded volumes
• We sound our best on more jaunty numbers

The list goes on but I think it's the best thing

I reckon we can learn 2 "pub band" songs in the same time it would take to learn Wonderwall to even a passable standard.

So that's lightened the load for me going forwards AND it means I can concentrate on being the bass player - which I really enjoy.

I don't think we're going to learn "One" either for the initial gig - the return would not justify it really. We need to be tooled up with party songs.

Tracie goes mobile...

Today, after about 15 years of having to lug Tracie everywhere I discovered and purchased a set of these "Ernie Ball Amp Casters".

This could be the dawn of a brave new world free of back strains.

Now all I need to do is fit the things. I just hope there's enough clearance between the floor of the cab' and the speakers directly above it. I guess I can always position the casters towards the outer edge of the cab' base, they should only stick up about an inch into the cab'.

Tools of the trade

• Sexy bass guitar
• Ridiculously oversized bass speaker cab'
• Export lager

It's a beautiful thing.

Regular Weekly Meeting

"It's good to talk"

Bob Hoskins

Here's what our company weekly meetings look like from outside the glass "fishbowl" meeting room.

The Woodfield Four

Andy Woodfield : "Why don't we call ourselves The Woodfield Four?"
Paul Woodfield : "I like it"
Chris Woodfield : "I likt it"
Mike Woodfield "What happens when we get a keyboard player?"

The car park, Farm Factory Studios

More songs tumbled out of the intended running order last night. At this rate we'll have the most impressive reject set list in the country. However - a previously unthought of song made it into the set and was played.

During the rehearsal Paul was kind enough to count Mike in at the start of a song on a count of "One". Have you ever tried coming in on "one"? It's not easy.

We ran through the two songs that went so well last week. One of them was fine - the other suffered the predictable collapse. It didn't help that the bass player was playing "all the right notes, not necessarily in the right order". Oops.

Cut from the set...

"Who the hell's going to do the vocals on this one?"

Paul Kerr, Woodfield 2007

There are now two casualties from the original (and it should be said, random) set list.

Walking on Sunshine
Walking on the Moon

The first becuase - well - because it's crap really. The second because it's not a dancefloor filler and none of us fancied ourselves as a young, screachy Mr. String.

Going forward, I'm not going to learn any song with "Walking" in the title until I know for certain it's going to be worth it.

I think this list of rejects will grow.

No, no... you're alright - we're still "Woodfield"

"Well... we haven't got a trumpet... so we'll cut that section out, go straight into the guitar solo and just do the chorus twice. That should pad it out a bit".

Woodfield

It's tough at the top. Being the biggest thing in Sandridge brings with it great responsibilities. In terms of public appearances we're more of an underground movement than a band because nobody apart from the four band members and Billy (Andy's son) our "roadie" has heard us.

The executive decision has been made, by the members of the band, we are"Woodfield".

Last night's rehearsal was great. All four of us were there and two songs got sorted out. If we shoot for doing ten songs in the set then an average of two-per-session is going to be fine. We're also going to increase the no. of sessions.

Hold on... I spoke too soon.

Well. We were "Woodfield" for about 24 hours. I think it's okay - it's innocuous enough, and there is a reason for the the word - seemed okay to me.

Anyway - it seems that Paul spent an afternoon being harangued about the name. This seems to happen a lot to him. This suggested replacement name? "CAMP". C(hris) A(ndy) M(ike) P(aul). Didn't a Swedish band try this back in the 70s?

At the time of writing I don't know what we're called. I do know we'd better select something tonight, when we all meet up for rehearsal, or the gathering hoards of fans will be very confused. How can we get all the t-shirts printed?

Sigh...

We are "Woodfield"

If there's one thing more dull than playing the guitar on "Walking On Sunshine"... it's playing the bass on "Walking On Sunshine."

Chris Ward - 2007

We now have a name for the band, "Woodfield". This comes from the name of the road where we have our rehearsals at Farm Factory Studios

We've got a LOT of work to do getting ready for the gig on the 24th February, somewhere in the middle I have to fit in my 40th birthday.

The set list for the gig is taking early shape with about 14 cover songs under review. From a bass player's point of view it's certainly challenging encompassing as it does Ska, Reggae, Rock, Rockablly and some Cheesy Pop. Some of the Cheesy Pop has already been dropped and I suspect more may go before we have the final set - so there will be no "Walking On Sunshine" at this gig. I can't say I'm too cut up by that, I've played that song a million times in previous gigs and it is a pretty pedestrian.

Now - I've just got to work on turning my bass DOWN.

The madness begins...

We had the first of our first frantic cover-version-learning session at Farm Factory Studios last night.

We needed to identify a bunch of suitable covers to learn for the party - where we've been told to "play what we like".

My idea of "suitable" being

• popular enough to be recognised by the majority of people, regardless of age
• musically simple to learn since we're up against it time-wise
• at least one of us should be able to make a good fist of singing them ALL THE WAY THROUGH. Think of the pale young things trying to sing the high bit on "Angels" on Pop Idol and you'll get the idea. It;s no fun for anyone when you run into a bit you can't reach.

Anyway - it all went very well indeed. We've now got a list of about ten songs to try to get together in the few weeks we have. Interestingly, we can cover the vocals between us with different members singing lead on different songs.

I need to get some new bass strings to replace the current antiques that have been on since before I played my last gig about four years ago.

Papersnakes (or whatever we're called this week) to gig...

Gumpf!

It would appear that we have our first gig booked for Feb 24th. I think this is a private party but it might be open since it's in a pub. But a small pub - so the Trace Elliot might have to stay on the lower clicks.

Gawd knows what this means other than a LOT of frantic activity learning some cover versions and finishing off some of our original songs. We've got about eight half-baked songs of our own.

Then there's the subject of vocals. At the time of writing we've only really got one song with an recognised structure - "Bare Back Monkey" - which I sing. Badly. I am assuming a lot of the future singing will be done by Paul, although I'm happy to have a crack at any songs I can manage. I've always found it impossible to sing and play the bass at the same time though - "Bare Back Monkey" is the first time I've ever managed it. If any of the songs have a complicated bassline I could be in trouble.

Then there's our musical style. I don't think anyone knows what this is yet, but I guess the suggestions for cover versions will give us some indication of what we think we are.

Whatever happens, it should be fun.